Dear Josh,
Congratulations on your recent diploma from Klutz State University following the successful presentation of your thesis on how to slice your hand with a chain saw. I am sure Bill Parcells is just thrilled with your accomplishment. I am anxious to hear why you decided to attend the School of Tree Stump Cutting like fellow alumni punter Chris "Axe-in-the-leg" Hanson instead of the more challenging School of Motorcycle Wheelies like Kellen Winslow, Ben Roethlisberger and Lavar Arrington. But a degree is a degree. And not everyone can aspire to the arduous degree plan of Blood Loss majors like Brandon "McWrapper Crash" Marshall. Wait, is that Brandon "BroWrestle" Marshall? I can't remember.
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