The Dallas Gladiator organization announced the firings of Director of Personnel Bob "Shaun Alexander Has Legs!" Bonehead and Director of Simulations Dr. Diddle "We can win the division!" BitTwiddler today after finishing the season 4-12, tieing the worst record of the franchise set back in 2001.
"It appears Dr. BitTwiddler skewed the results of the Dallas Technology Center's season simulations to show the Gladiators having much more success than was possible" said Noll Lombardi Landry, Head Coach. "And Bob bought into the numbers and lobbied hard for us to draft Alexander in the 2nd round. It would've been better for us to take a rebuilding approach and draft someone for the future."
Dr. BitTwiddler had been head of the Dallas Technology Center since the beginning of the franchise. He developed the DTC point spread methodology adored and despised by coaches across the league. The accuracy of the point spreads was uncanny in the earlier years but recently has diminished significantly. Some weeks in 2008 it only predicted 50% of the correct winners. BitTwiddler placed the blame on Dave Koch and his developers but Gladiator management suspected that he had failed to improve the formulas to account for the human element.
Sources within the Dallas organization report that they are working hard behind the scenes to entirce coaches and general managers of division rivals to join the Gladiator organization. High on Dallas' wish list are Muncie GM Chad Weyenberg, Muncie head coach Bob Kalec along with Nashville's Brandon Cox and Great Lakes' Mike Fafnis. Other names from around the league mentioned were Knoxville's Jim Martin who took over a 4-5 team and finished 9-7, Philadelphia's Donald Brenner who turned the Liberty from a 4-12 team to a 10-6 playoff team and Greg Smith of Wausau, who was able to squeeze 5 wins out of a team loaded with terrible talent.
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